Remind Me The Meaning of, Parent.

In these days when thoughts are imprisoned at the fantasy confinement, thanks to the Hollywood and the woods which followed suit, and a passion driven by a thirst for achievements, parents have let go the wheel. They have now taken a back seat like passengers.Everyone is in a rush to grab as much as they can and in as little time as possible. One and half years ago on a certain Thursday at around 4:30pm, while flipping through the T.V stations, i saw lady gaga's Alejandro song. The song which contains a scene where lady gaga is dressed in something which without a second look one would think she is nude, surrounded by, i think men, performing something that looks like a sex ritual. My heart almost stopped or may be it did for a second or so. I remember looking at the clock again, just to make sure i had seen 4:30pm and not 10:30pm. I thought of the pre-school babies that had just arrived home and were probably seated on the couch having their evening snack, uji or tea and there was lady gaga serving them food for thoughts.

And need i go into the present nonsense shown on the T.V? Soaps which are aired during the day and on into the night, depicting a perfect fairy tale love story then soon cheaters wakes you up with a slap on the face to the reality, that its never that smooth or perfect. Problem though, what is the moral of the story? The cheaters seem to always walk away in victory. I really do not care how much effect it has on those whose names are on the receipts that are attached to these instruments of information, because if they can afford to buy them they can make their own decisions on what to watch through them and how much to take from it all.

My concern is the children.When children are growing up, with or without the technological aid, there is always positive and negative influence around them. That is why parents guidance is required. The parent is the first role model and they owe it to their children It is really not an option but an obligation. Today more emphasis is put on provision and protection while prevention has been avoided or should i say omitted. Am not talking about immunization here. Many parents are away from home for too long and so they have very little time for their children. They leave the house as early as 5pm and return at around 10pm. On weekends they are busy catching up with friends and life because hey, life is too short. After all they have house girls who are paid well enough to look after these children.A house girl does not really care about how your child turns out and even those that do may not know how to go about it. Most of them are inexperienced in parenting. So then, guess who is taking of this children?The media, their not yet mature friends and the filthy world.Today we have a very educated generation, but very feeble and lame in the way they reason. We have chosen to forget that food,shelter, clothing and strong academic grades do not make anyone whole. 

A friend of mine recently mentioned that whenever she goes home late and drunk, and with late i mean 3am, her mum tells her that when next she goes out and its gets that late she shouldn't to bother coming home. Then the following weekend , her mum comes home around that same time drunk too. So she wonders, if her mum can do this openly why shouldn't she. This girl has a two years old son who witnesses all these when it unfolds.Am sure i do not need to spell out what is likely to happen to that child as he grows up and what kind of a man he could possibly become.

Becoming a parent is a responsibility that calls for a sacrifice.A lot of changes take place after one becomes a parent and so one can not carry on with their reckless way of life.There is need to spend time and enough time to mingle and bond with their children so that they may be able to guide them. Am certain that no mother or father would be happy if their children turn out wrongly because whether they like it or not, these children will be a burden to them in their pension years in one way or the other.Its such a small price to pay, for a child's future, TIME.

While we chase after civilization and work ourselves to weary, the generations behind are rotting away.They are like a bunch of lost young ones,trapped in the middle of a crowd cheering from all corners,on looking a million paths before them, and no one to define to them which path gets them to the safe and right destination. Soon we will only have clothed shells walking around, a generation on whose shoulders no responsibility can be bestowed. That day parents will have helped bring forth, the disaster. I wonder whether their heads will still be held high on the streets, which will be a show room for what they will have created.

It Is All Within Us

Any dream that is conceived in your heart is within your reach and achievement. Unfortunately most of us give up too easily. When we fail to achieve our desired grades, we walk away from our vision with our heads hanging down. I personally believe that there is never just one way of getting to a certain destination. Of course some ways are easier than others, taking less time and less resources but even those longer routes will still get you there. I am not ignorant of the fact that, there are some dreams that one has to achieve certain grades to mingle with them and in this case there is always the option of trying again. Just once is sometimes not enough.

Sometime ago, i was listening to classic's morning discussion, out of no other choice because i was in a matatu, and this day they were talking about,"toy boys" from the boys side of view. One of the candidates,a toy boy i mean called and told Maina that the reason why he was with an older woman is because he had to live. Accusing Maina and other employed people of holding on to their positions for too long,therefore not allowing these young men to take over and earn some too. "Seriously!!" Please tell me that this boy is 2yrs old!! I wanted so much to scream to the driver and tell him to switch off that so called radio because just that, broke the wave of joy i was sailing in that morning. I kept hoping that this was just a actor, paid to call in and make the morning show interesting. I still hope so. One tiny bit is true, i agree. too many highly educated people and too few jobs for them to take up and utilize their knowledge. But still his solution is way beyond lame that am still perusing through literature to find out which word can best describe it. 

When one way is blocked, think beyond the block or around it. There is a businessman who runs a chain of medium size hotels in town and the story of his beginning is inspiring.He used to sell milk by the roadside. At some point, he gathered courage and saw beyond his barriers, stepped into a bank, borrowed a loan and opened a hotel. Today he runs 4 hotels in town. Most people stop at,"i could not continue with my education because of 1,2,3 reasons, i failed in high school, i can't get a job......"Determination does not start where a way is granted but where a will is present. With a strong enough will, everything and anything is achievable.

It does not matter how long it will take for you to mingle with your dream. The most important thing is to start. If what one wants to do is a bachelors degree in a certain discipline and its seems too expensive then, consider starting with a diploma so as to start on that path. You never know what will happen along that route.If you have your papers and no job seems to behold you, think bigger. You could become an employer too. If  for some reason you were not able to achieve a certain level of education, there is always another way.As long as we break away from the boundaries that we tie ourselves to namely; education, resources and many others, we can and will achieve a lot. Maybe even beyond our own expectations.

If it is a dream in us, then it means that in us also is the potential to achieve it. We ought to fight through negative thoughts, discouragements from the crowd, history of failure and all else that is negative. We ought to keep our eyes on the prize.Because we know all too well that we deserve to live our dreams.

Life Is Beauty,You are Life

Life is beautiful. Yes it is. This is a bulky statement because it is made beautiful by everything with and without life in life. Every day we discover something new or someone new. That is why no day is like any other. The power to realize this fact and embrace it lies within us. Most of us plant judgment around us. We are too quick to judge and give verdict to all that we encounter. We are reluctant to allow time to honor us with knowledge so that we can learn and maybe earn from it all.

Take for instance the people that we meet every day. They are hosts of different personalities, ages, backgrounds and much more, and this is what makes them beautiful in their own unique way. Each encounter brings with it a new experience. The nature of the experience can only be unveiled with time and whether we live to realize it or not depends on us. It may pull worth through earning us lessons which then grills our personalities to better. It may earn us friendship which then enriches our lives, giving it more reason for its being. Sometimes the rule of first impression may hinder you from a worthwhile experience.

“No man is an island,” a wise man said this. This must have been after dedicating time for study. For this reason, what we accept others to do with us, so should we with them. We like to be accepted and appreciated as we are despite the “I do not care” attitude that we put out for a show. We expect others to be patient with us as we try to reason with them. Because as much as we want to ignore it, reasoning together and walking through life in the crowd together is inevitable time to time in life.

Sometimes, hello, is all we need to give up to open the doorway to an opportunity an avenue to glow. It does not take much and one does not lose anything by saying hello with a smile. Tomorrow does not allow us to peep into it to for a hint of what it may be holding. It would rather surprise us and we are left to deal with it. For this reason, we need as much cushion as possible, to leave through tomorrow. Cushion may not always be against danger or misfortune but it may also be to hold in safety the good or gifts that tomorrow may bring so that they do not slip way to spoil. 

Finally consider this; life is a gift because it is in you. Life without a host is not tangible and you are the host to deliver its purpose because you are worth the honor of being alive. Mingle easily and allow yourself to embrace every opportunity that is presented to you. Every life is beautiful and so is the life in others. Living a full life has something to do with this. Think about it, you never know.

Eyes on Success But on Your own trail

In childhood, we begin to aspire and admire. We get vivid ideas about who we wish to be when we grow up. A favorite question used by many for interaction with the youngsters, “what would like to be when you grow up?" The answers to this questions change as technology evolves and as centuries advance. A few years ago, anything suggesting art, was a no gone zone for a future career aspiration. Now thanks to the success either painted or present through the media of various artists, it is slowly being accepted in the career booklet. Mentors are embraced early and watched to draw a path for those that term them as head light. Kids will work hard maintaining a nest in their thoughts for their mentors. The mentors’ success footprints become their success trail. They share in their moment of glory at heart and master their biographies in mind.

All this is good and maybe necessary in life but only to some extent. The shining part of all these mentors is the only part posted for the public eye to catch, the mind to envy and the hearts to feel. However, the dark and ugly, the hitches along the way, the constant failures and the lessons learned are not aired. I think that this is the most important side of the story because success is the end of the sentence which one can’t get to before writing the beginning and the middle.

What happened to the fact that every person is unique? A personality that may only be similar to another but not entirely alike, a mind that almost chooses thoughts like another but different still even if just slightly, a heart that experiences similar emotions to many others but treats them in a somehow different way unlike many. With this in mind, although we admire certain personalities in life and wish to take their chosen path of life, we can not entirely turn out just like them. We may want to fellowship in their career path, want to mingle with their social responsibilities and even lift the same crowns of success that they do and sit on the thrones of heroes just like them, but we have to define our own trail.

They should or can be our inspiration so that when we look at their achievement during our journey to our discoveries, we strive on. If we cave ourselves in only on them and theirs, we may actually limit ourselves. We could probably achieve more if we focus on beyond what our mentors did, are doing or would do. Within us is unique potential, granted in a skillful way to every individual. The feeble and impatient hardly get to discover this because they live through life looking for short cuts. The imitators sit on potential through life they would rather what is already found, cleaned and displayed. Only the strong willed, focused and tolerant live to behold their full potential and at sun set, theirs is called a full life. These live to graduate to mentors. But no mentor is exactly like any other. They may have similar success stories but with different trails.

Appoint a mentor to your mind and heart, admire them and aspire to be like them. Let them encourage you with their achievements; remember to read into their challenges and failures too. But most of all, remember to define your own trail and you will get there eventually.

Time to wake up

We are what we think about. Thoughts are deliberate and although there maybe external influence on our thoughts, what we decide to nest in our minds depends on us. Who we become maybe inspired by our environment we mostly mingle with: the neighbors we grow with and around, the schools we go to, the experiences we go through and maybe more but potentially it is who we choose to be. There are many things in life and the world that we can not control but there is one thing which we have absolute control over. Our will, a weapon, an instrument, a vessel and much more at our disposal. It is our will that decides on the choices to take and decisions to make.

Our environment is changing fast. Greed has taken over and the other one is never in mind. Its a self centered, everybody for himself and God for us all pace. Gain is everyone's goal and the consequences are a bridge we choose to cross when we get there. With this in mind, what sells fast is what is put out in the market. Take the media for instance. There is a variety of radio and T.V stations available. They all have a wide variety of products. The recent soap opera seems to be doing very well in the market. A fairy tale display of love. Perfect sacrificial love, offered by a perfect handsome gentleman to a woman well endowed by nature. This is only a fairy tale would only happen in an ideal world but ours world is not an ideal one.

Then there are the topics, very interesting to the ears, that are aired. They truly do achieve their goal because a number of people do listen and laugh their way to work. After all it is just entertainment so why not. Unfortunately, this is a plate of food which we constantly feed to our minds therefore inspiring thoughts. These slowly effect change in us even without us being aware of it.We start perceiving things differently. We build different attitudes around the things and situations.

Today the victims to this among others are love and relationships, and marriages.The sad fact still is that these same discussions are heard by the young minds, still trying to define the world and life. Unfortunately they are not given the chance to decide what is real and what is not because the very persuasive "facts" served to the audience drop into their ears with too big a bang for them to review the truth in them.I have heard several young people talk negatively about marriage drawing examples from the situations described during the discussions they have listened to.There fears cemented by the "confessions or experiences" that people voice out.

My concern is, if all these have such a huge impact on the 20+yrs, how much more will it affect the young adults' life's perspective, whose parents unfortunately are too busy making money to fuel their academic trains to success, to afford a little time to sit and just talk to them.(Topic for another day). We maybe be civilized now and the old moral register too old fashioned to check, but the new is not only rotting away our morals but also our identity. The safe shelter, the family, where we all knew we could nest and rest confidently in is slowly getting drowned.

We have become a dust bin, welcoming all and any. In the rush to equal with the west, a culture we only woke up to a few decades ago while they have been living it for centuries.And yet we sing the freedom song flying on our fantasy liberated perception.Fear arrests me when i think of the growing generations into the future and am tempted to utter a wish that my eyes may not open up to that futures' morning.But then, this would be taking a coward's bus.

We need to wake up and deal with this now because the all familiar "i wish i knew" melody is not one we will want to sing along to in national unity. Good news the solutions are within us if only we halt the haste, think then act.

Forgiveness is the answer

Ruin is a gift. It is the agent for transformation.Ruin is aided by hate, betrayal, deceit,jealousy..... If ruin does not visit us once in a while, we would most likely be stuck in one place never becoming better. Ruin will push you out of a wrong place you settled in, wrong activities you chose and wrong people you either welcomed in your life or tricked their way in.To excel in life we need lessons and ruin wheels these in. Falling,failing,making a mistake or someone dragging you into pain does not have to be a disaster and deep you into a lifetime full of anger and bitterness.Its your bridge to your better.

Bitterness and anger keeps you away from your gift joy and achievement so you should loose it ASAP.The longer you nest it, the longer you delay your joy. Life was not meant to be perfect. What makes it imperfect is, nature and man is part of it. We are beings prone to error and people make wrong choices and drag us into it for their own selfish desires like we do too sometimes. None of us is free of wrong towards another.

A human being is a stubborn being, mostly not in favor of change especially when it involves rough edges.This is why the process of change which has to involve, discomfort,pain and being broken is not a cup of tea to anyone. Unfortunately, for our own good,although we hardly realize and acknowledge so,this is a necessary process.When ruin is dragged into our lives and we get torn and pain invades, its okay to take  time out and heal but not for too long.It takes courage to rise again and move on.But most of all it takes a brave heart to realize that forgiveness is the only gate through to moving on.Through to the gift of transformation.Through to a delivered destiny. 

Time waits for no king and time lost is never recovered.Sometimes, unknown to us amazing doors to glowing opportunities open while we are still in the hurt world.The painful thoughts and the anger in our hearts block our vision and so these opportunities pass us by.Forgiveness is the only way to break away from the past and embrace the future. Its the only way to crash anger and pain that is buried in us after a painful experience.Forgiveness is never for the other person but we that have been hurt. Forgive and you will magically jump out of pain and experience a new day.You will smile again and soon you will be glad that, ruin paid you a visit.